Wooooooo!!

Excuse me, fair friends of the internet, whilst I strip to the buff and do a little happy dance...

Guess who's employed bitches? Awwww yeeeah! I'M EMPLOYED! Summer job for me! Fuck yes!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

...

Thank you.

That is all.

An Open Letter to a Faceless Asshat

Dear whomever keeps stealing the newspapers in my apartment building...

Seriously? Newspapers? Seriously?! Are you making the worlds most epic papier maché EVAR or what? There cannot possibly be any inherent monetary profit in newspaper theft... This is baffling, and epicly dickish. But not just because you're causing a random inconvenience and costing me about a fiver a week...

No. No see what makes you the worlds BIGGEST dick is the following little tale:

All this paper-stealing had us thinking the local paper had fucked up our subscription when we signed up two weeks ago. So we called them, and they were crazy sorry and promised not to charge us... and then they called the delivery boy for our area and got pissy.

Correction, they got pissy at his mom. Because I doubt he answers the phone in his household. She then called us to try and sort out why we weren't getting the papers she knew her son had delivered, and to arrange some way to make sure we got our papers henceforth.

So next delivery time her son rang the doorbell and waited and handed the paper to me personally.

Do you know, Mr. Asshattus Maximus, that our delivery boy is, like, NINE tops? And has AUTISM? Did you know that thanks to you we completely unintentionally got a little autistic boy bitched out by the paper for something he didn't even do wrong?

That is some SERIOUS bad karma you are gathering up there mister.

I truly hope something vile and bitey crawls DIRECTLY up your ass.

No love,
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Lady

PS: Bald guy across the hall who has beer-gut like whoah and NEVER wears a shirt? Your creepy ass is my prime suspect. I'm watching you creep-machine... but not too closely because ew dude. Seriously.

NSFW Wishlist: Kinky Steampunk!

So... apropos of nothing at all, I have elected to begin a weekly feature, (perhaps bi-weekly, we'll see how my ADD and libido get along) showcasing something I have found on the world wide interwebs that makes my happy places go squee and yell WANT!

Said feature will always occur on a Wednesday. Because Wednesday is hump-day... and in truth I am a twelve year old boy :P

With that being said... our first feature that has Lady jumping up and down like a child at a candy shop window yelling "Gimmegimmegimme!" is brought to us by the glorious love-child of adult fun and steampunk. Be still my kinky nerd heart. ^_^

Behold! Lady Clankington's Little Death Ray!

Is it not glorious? Don't you want THREE? I do. :3

This and many other wonders can be found at Lady Clankington's Cabinet of Carnal Curiosities including a simply GORGEOUS paddle that leaves a gear-shaped mark on they who would be paddled...

So much want, oh my yes. Clearly this is a site to keep an eye on if one enjoys some bedroom spice and nerdy Victorian sci-fi. WHICH I DO :D

Toe chasing nutter!

Because it is adorable, I would like to now share a little video of Duffy's adventure on the apartment floor.

In Duffy's world, my toes are delicious and must be pursued. :P

First of May!

I like this month, rather a lot. Things start working on looking like spring, and my birthday comes to pass, woo!

In celebration of the beginning of May, I present an ASL video for a gloriously fun (and NSFW) Jonathan Coulton song written for exactly this occasion.

So, cuddle up with your special someone (or current friend with benefits ^_~) and enjoy this little ditty.

I'm surely not the only one...

And now... a brief comic interlude concerning the first week of April...

With thanks to internet memes for the cathartic glory that is Rage Guy

Existing, World Building, and other Sports

Hey Internet Land! How the hell are ya?

A shiny random meeting on the busy streets of social networking happened to remind me that I have a blog, and said blog is gathering dust. So here we are! *Exists*

Time has been marching along regardless of my getting off my ass and joining in or not, though I do get off my ass on occasion :P

Our happy home has a new addition in the form of roughly 30 ounces of pure feathery biteyness. In proper nerd tradition, he has been named to match our current naming theme. In a house where the wireless network is identified as 'Dunsinane' and the beloved cat is MacBeth, we now happily introduce...

MacDuff!

(Pictured here giving serious thought to biting someone's face)

He's a tiny breed of parrot who will remain tiny all his many days, while thinking he's huge and behaving to match. Cute little fucker... Loves him yes I do.

In other news, I'm stretching my creative muscles in a few ways over the next while. Firstly I've been poking at defining and detailing a high-fantasy setting that's been itching my brain some ages. Based off a concept of an eight-point elemental compass designed thusly:

Featuring the basic Earth, Air, Fire, Water combo as well as the addition of Void, Light, Chaos, and Darkness. As I build more details and back-story I'll post snippets here to share.

Creativity stretch number two starts this Friday when I join many other crazy people in taking a crack at Script Frenzy. A challenge from the fine people who brought you NaNoWriMo, Script Frenzy is an attempt to write a 100 page script within the month of April. Woo! Time to roll up my sleeves and type like a mother fucker! Wheeee!

Wish me luck folks!